A backpacker's guide to missing important moments back home
The list of important moments I’ve missed out on since leaving home increases by the day. Last month it was my grandma's 80th birthday. There was no major party or celebration, but just knowing I wasn't going to be there with her was difficult. This was the first time in a while that missing out on an occasion strongly affected me.
When I first left home, I was so excited by my new surroundings that I wasn't taking too much notice of what I was missing. Then came a period of realization. A few months had passed, and I had settled. I began to notice the occasions I wasn't there for.
Then the next phase came, the one I'm currently in, which is learning to manage it and see the bigger picture. I realize that I am where I am for a reason — because of my desire to experience new things and have independence over my time. This, of course, comes with compromises.
Travelling, whether short-term or long-term, is a period of time away from your routine, friends, and family. It can be a challenging adjustment. These are a few ways I keep myself grounded while away, in an attempt to enjoy what I'm doing instead of contemplating what I might be missing out on.
Making friends and being willing to change plans
Loneliness is something you'll likely have to confront when travelling, especially if you're on a solo trip. I enjoy being on my own, but there does reach a point where I crave company and a conversation. Sometimes (especially when you're somewhere busier like a big city) finding that connection can be difficult. In my experience, this is when I begin to think about what else I could be doing and question why I decided to travel in the first place. Now I'm much more flexible with my plans so that if the opportunity does arise to socialize, I can easily accommodate it. If I'm staying at a hostel, I'll join at least one of their social activities. Sometimes other plans take shape from there.
On a recent trip to Oaxaca, I was invited to a wedding by the groom, someone I'd met just two days earlier in a clothing store. That was certainly a more unorthodox way to meet someone, but a welcome chance to make up for all the weddings I'd missed in the past four years!
Explore the moment
When bored and far away from home, it's tempting to spend hours scrolling socials and seeing what your friends and family are up to. For me, this overload of information rarely creates positive feelings and usually just fuels an uneasy sense of FOMO. I've found that the more I see what's going on elsewhere, the less connected I feel to where I am. It's useful to post updates and share travel photos, but limiting your social media use where possible is also worthwhile. That might be easier said than done in today's world, but I've always found it helpful.
The internet is still your friend
That said, the internet does still provide connection. Video calling platforms are one of my favourite features of the internet. I'm lucky that I have a few people who are usually up for conversation or that I can just check in on. I'll usually call my grandma (despite constant technical difficulties on her end). We chat, and my mood improves. When the time difference permits, give someone a call who might make your day a little brighter. Use the internet to your advantage!
Not completely giving up your routine
When I travel, I do so to break away from my usual routine. Travel plans are often made to escape the stress of work and school. I find this form of routine break positive, though I do try to retain some of the more enjoyable and beneficial aspects of it. These are simple activities that include cooking my breakfast, working out, journalling, and perhaps fitting in a morning call. If I lose complete control of my days (which can happen), I tend to feel more isolated and out of touch with what I’m doing. Having a few staples in my routine helps me feel more grounded, meaning regardless of where I am in the world, I can retain some consistency.
The unspoken sacrifices when travelling can range from missing weddings to family holidays, close friends' or family members' milestone birthdays, or even something as simple as a dinner out. Accepting that you'll miss out is a difficult task, but it is often worth it. Stepping out of your comfort zone can be a testing but hugely beneficial experience. With the right tools and a realistic view of how you may feel while travelling, the stresses of missing out will soon be overtaken by the unique experiences you'll create along the way.
